Daisy and Jane Explain Baseball to Each Other, and The Giants Win the World Series…

With apologies to Texas fans, who I’m sure are just as invested.

First, let me say I know nothing about sports.  Yes, the entire grouping of sports that do not include hooves.   I tease Micah and Shaun, who love baseball, basketball, and football, by pretending to know less than I do.

Example: during something called the “Final Four” (?) Micah and Shaun were so tense I thought I’d lighten things up a little.  I know the Final Four is basketball.  That’s all I know.  So I say things like: “Why did the umpire do that?”  and “How come the umpire isn’t wearing stripes?”

They hate me.

The Giants made it to the World Series.  I know this, because I actually watched the games.  (FEAR THE BEARD!)  I got excited! I asked a billion questions! I don’t know what anything means!  (Except of course, that the Skater Dude is a phenomenal pitcher, that’s just obvious.) But all these balls and strikes and how many balls walk the player to base? How clear is that?  And foul balls?  I get the foul ball zone. Easy.  But how come you can hit the ball a million times and not have it be a strike if it always goes into a foul?

So I’m asking questions like “can you steal home base?” and “why does everyone spit?”

Shaun and Micah went somewhere else to watch tonight’s game. There’s another question I don’t get answered.  I come from the “If you win the game you won the game” planet.  I do NOT understand how The Giants made it into the World Series, and won, and now they have to play AGAIN to see who wins?

That feels very Calvin-ball to me.

So.

I texted Daisy.  During the game.  And she texted me back.  Luckily, she only knows slightly more than I do, so she didn’t get irritated.  We had a blast.

The transcript, remembering that texting often is out of sequence:

Jane: R U gonna watch the series?

Daisy has to go to work at 3 am.  She’s usually asleep by 7:00 pm.  I also know she has a friend who has season tickets with the Giants, and is AT THE GAME.  He brought her back a baseball cap.  I’m so jealous.  Shaun only half-kiddingly tried to swipe the cap.

Daisy: Y. will kill me tomorrow.

Jane: Whahooooooooooo!!!!

Jane: um. the rbi, not the killing  you tommorrow.

Daisy: I’ll be cranky.  Tired and cranky.

Jane: ok, baseball challenged here. what’s up with the brocade rings @ their necks? Tracking collars?  In case players escape into the wild?

Daisy:  I looked it up.  They are supposed to help w blood flow and pain.  Giants website.

Daisy: U should get Micah one for Xmas?

Jane: the banging distracts you from how much it hurts?  he’d love!

3 runners go over home plate

Daisy: Cool!

Jane:  Woot woot woot!!!!

Daisy: Geeze.  We rock. U and I could b out there and still do good!!!

Jane: TOTALLY rock.  I call right field.

Daisy: I’m going where the ball doesn’t go.  I would duck.  Shaun would be disgusted.

Jane: Of course we’d duck.  hellloooo  96 mph?  I’d run.

Daisy: Serious.  A guy at work threw a ball to me.  ducked.  why do I want to catch?

Jane: Serious too.  hate playing softball.  too hard dodging the dang balls.  catching stupid.

Jane: U know our barcalounger world series playing is probly gonna end up on the blog…

Daisy: I know!  Throw the ball to ur damn self.  LOL we should be on he blog.  We r professional players.

Jane: I’m sipping brandy out in right field.  chilly out here.

Daisy: Right.  cuz it’s all easy.  catch ball.  throw. duh.

Daisy: Ohhhhhhhh

Daisy: New pitcher!

Jane: Crap.  Bases loaded.

Daisy: Who cares.  we r winning.  Sip ur brandy.

Daisy: Want to do boot camp tomorrow?

Boot Camp = Daisy’s new workout class.   It’s 11-7, Giants, in the top of the 9th

Jane:  can we lose?  Sipping.

Daisy: Top of 9.  Would be insane.  Especially with us on the team.

Daisy: Fear the beard.

Jane: no bootcamp.  I’m still trying to get 30 min on elliptical wo dying.

The Giants pitcher strikes out the batter.  I know it’s the guy they call the closer.

Jane: FEAR THE BEARD

Daisy: bootcamp at your own pace…

Surprisingly, to Jane, since it’s still the top of the 9th, the announcers call the game: “And The Giants Win The World Series!!!”

Jane:  Whahooooooooo…….We did it!!!

Jane:  and explain to me why we play again if we win?  don’t we win if we win?

Jane: It was your pitching.

Daisy: Team effort.

Jane: Um.  and how could we win if it’s the top of the 9th?

Daisy: They stop the game.

Why do they stop the game?  I don’t get it.  But I know she has to go to sleep now.  I’ll bug her later.  Because looking up the rules is too easy, and not nearly as entertaining.

Jane: U can explain later why we got stopped?  nite champ.

Daisy: Us up next would only add points.  Nite!!

I muddle over this for a few minutes.  I get it!  She didn’t mean “us” as in Daisy and Jane batting would only bring in more points, she meant “us” The Giants.  The Giants up would only add points to the win.

I get it!  I get it!  It’s like letting the clock run out in football.  Shaun and Micah are going to be so proud.

Now if someone could just explain why the team doesn’t win when they win…? That is going to bug me all night.  Because I’m not going to look it up!

 

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8 thoughts on “Daisy and Jane Explain Baseball to Each Other, and The Giants Win the World Series…

  1. SprinklerBandit

    Wow. If you were a commentator, I’d totally watch your channel. You just covered more than I ever knew about baseball, and I spent most of a childhood (or at least it felt that way) watching my bother’s little league games.

    Reply
  2. grey horse matters

    Great post Jane. You should definitely be in the booth at the games as a commentator. I’m afraid I like baseball and understand it, not so much with other sports though. I guess my husband will watch this series, I’m not really interested unless the Yankees(my team forever) are playing. As for the tracking collars, they’re probably put on by the player’s wives so they can’t skip out on alimony payments, sort of like the ankle monitor for prisoners.

    Reply
    1. theliteraryhorse Post author

      Daisy, I was shocked when you told me it was seven games. I thought you were kidding. I had visions of being trapped in front of the TV, because now I have to see the games! Nooooooooooo…

      The post has a wrong title. It should be Daisy teaches Jane about baseball. 😉

      Marissa, oh thank god. I thought this post was a total bomb…one of those things that don’t translate to the written word. Um. But sorry about your keyboard. Handing over stain remover stick…

      Reply
  3. Marissa

    You know, I really should know better by now. But I figured, it’s a post about baseball, Jane can’t make that topic too funny. I can totally drink my coffee while I read this. Then I got to: “Tracking collars? In case players escape into the wild?” Et voila. Coffee up nose, on shirt, and all over keyboard.

    I’m thinking of putting a post-it on my monitor that says “NCWRTLH.” Thank you for yet another laugh!

    Reply
  4. Daisy

    ok- but we haven’t WON the world series yet….we have just won two of the games in the series…clearly my job with you is not done….

    Reply
    1. theliteraryhorse Post author

      This is transcript from 1st game we “watched” together.
      I finally understood when we texted last night that, um, it’s a SERIES of baseball games. (I’m real quick. World SERIES.)
      Seven? How insane is that?
      I can’t stand in right field for that many games. My legs will give out. I’m bringing a lawn chair.
      (Don’t worry, will have glove, will stand up and ball will fall into it while I duck, right?)

      Reply

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