Slow Down, You Move Too Fast…

gotta make the morning last?

Uh. No. I don’t think so. I’m glad it’s almost over, because the afternoon is going to be better. (Telegram to Universe…telegram to Universe…)

It’s not as bad as the morning I poured myself  a bowl of cereal, topped it with milk, stuck my spoon in, and remember Frosted Flakes do not bob.

Dog kibble, however, bobs quite well.

I’m not good at multi-tasking (for proof: watch Jane ride dressage).

But I persist in the belief that I am completely capable of drying my hair while cleaning the bathroom. Clean the mirror, clean the counters, clean everything in reach. Done.  See? I can multi-task! Put last touches on drying hair. Looks good.

Smear on sunscreen. Check time. Grab bottle of hairspray.

Notice hairspray smells funny. Look down. Still holding bottle.

I just sprayed my hair with Windex. Nice.

Brain thought: grab misting thingie. Voila. Cleans, shines, and holds.

Hopefully doesn’t make hair fall out. I’ll keep you updated. If it works, I’ll let you in on the infomercial:

For just $19.95 (in three easy installments) you can have a hair product that will also clean your bathroom!  Call now!  Quantities limited.



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16 thoughts on “Slow Down, You Move Too Fast…

  1. AareneX

    When will I ever convince you people that ultra-short hair is not only totally awesome, it’s *practically mistake-proof*.

    Jane? Sweetie? If the Windex franchise doesn’t work out, may I suggest a nice crewcut? It fits so nicely under the helmet, too!

    Reply
    1. theliteraryhorse Post author

      I had one! It was awesome.
      While I loved it, my face apparently is not made for short hair. I scared animals, small children, and myself.

      But I’m banking on the Windex line of hair products, and I’m incorporating all these great suggestions for new items: the Cetaphil hair wash, spray deodorant hair volumizer (and helmet freshener!), and the coupe de grace: stick tight to anything (walls, saddle, spouse, office chair) hairspray.
      We are SO going to make a fortune.

      Reply
  2. theliteraryhorse Post author

    I can report back that Windex does not (at least within 1 day) make your hair fall out. It’s a bit…drying…though. Nice shine.
    It completely scrambled my brain, which you will hear about in tomorrow’s post, which will be called something like “How Many Pony Club Rules Can YOU Break?”

    BTW, thank you for sharing and making me laugh, so glad to know I am not alone….

    Reply
  3. Nicholas

    Washed my hair twice cause I couldn’t remember if I’d done. I was thinking, not that absent minded. Errrr. Washed my hair with conditioner. Looks like I don’t make the list around here.

    Reply
  4. Crysta

    Ha! We were camping (= no shower) and my husband sprayed his chest and underarms with HAIRSPRAY instead of his deodorant body spray. I was already cackling like a mad woman and then he started doing “I’m now stuck to the wall” impressions and I was in tears! Thank God he had a good sense of humor about it. =)

    Reply
    1. theliteraryhorse Post author

      The image of your husband doing the stuck to the wall with hairspray, while camping, is so funny, I had to dry off my keyboard! (I need to remember you guys have incredibly good senses of humor. No drinking beverages while reading comments.)

      Reply
  5. funder

    I’ve Cetaphil’d my hair more than once. Even though the pump bottle of shampoo and the pump bottle of Cetaphil sit at opposite ends of the shower for just that reason. Oh well, at least it’s easy enough to wash out?

    Reply
  6. Marissa

    As the girl who is constantly trying to shave seconds off her best time between getting out of bed and making the early train, I can totally relate. I once came dangerously close to brushing my teeth with my face lotion.

    Glad to hear I am not the only one whose brain frequently goes on auto-pilot!

    Reply
  7. Ann

    And here I though I was the only one who sprays my hair with underarm deodorant in the morning! We are fresh and squeaky clean!

    Reply

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