Who’s Decorating Dobbin for the Holidays? Calling for Submissions!

I have a devious plan forming.

We had so much fun last year when everyone sent in their Horsey, Goaty, Self-y, Doggy, Kitty, Bunny, and even Chicken-y holiday dress up.  It’s wide-open, people!  If you want to share, send all goofy holiday (of choice: I’ve always wanted to see a yarmulke on a horse) photos to:

theliteraryhorse@yahoo.com

I can’t exactly walk yet, but I’ve been invited to work a cattle drive with Hudson on December 18th.

Um. “Work”.

Read: I’m invited to tag along, but no one has illusions of my usefulness.  This will be Jane’s bone-head course: Cattle Drive 101.

Hand me that Sore No More, will you?  I need to keep arnica on the hematoma.  I am determined to be fine by December 18th.  What do doctors know?

Oh yeah.  Back to devious.  I think the drive is all cowgirls, leaving the boyfriends/hubbys at home.  Sort of a girls cattle-work day.  I thought I might bring a box of Santa hats, reindeer antlers, battery lights, whatever, and see if I could get Santa Cattle Drive photos! Women are much more open to decorating animals than men.

If you want to be truly grossed out in Technicolor, click “more” to see Hudson’s love tap. Not for the queasy.

That’s not my butt up there. The bruise has simply swollen to the size of a basketball.  I can still see the hoof print, very faintly.  Hey, this is like Where’s Waldo!  Can you find it?

I sent this to Daisy, and she wrote back “AWESOME”.  I knew exactly what she meant. How awesome is it when something finally looks as bad as it hurts?  How many times have we bonked our heads, rammed our funny bones, or endured some other bodily insult, only to get a teensy little no-sympathy inducing spot.

 

Advertisements

10 thoughts on “Who’s Decorating Dobbin for the Holidays? Calling for Submissions!

  1. Winter

    My husband is very bummed I can’t show you the one he got from falling off a trailer. Somehow it got deleted from my phone. I have no idea how. . .

    I used to get really bad ones from fencing (as in with swords, not 2 x 4s), the the worst ones didn’t turn colorful for a week – when they rose from the depths. By then they didn’t hurt, but when no one could see them… OUCH!

    Cowgirl cattle drive sounds like too much fun! Can’t wait to hear how it goes… I’m sure you’ll be up for it (whether you are or not, you’re going right?).

    Reply
  2. Marge Coates

    I made a similar goof once – but I really did NOT know better. I took a bunch of carrots, one for each horse, into the field, and the youngest guy got angry when I ran out (what don’t they understand about “One Each”?) and chomped my sholder. I took great delight in showing my teacher (the owner) the bruise & tooth imprint, and got many oohs and ahs from the kids I was in class with.

    Reply
  3. theliteraryhorse Post author

    We may need to have a separate photo submission post: The Bruises! I hear no one is as nuts as me, and hasn’t allowed their spouse to document the horror, but should anyone have some glorious ones, we’ll have an OUCH day. 😉

    Sue, that must have HURT. I can’t imagine two of these. Whoa. I think you get the ultra violet bruise award.

    Reply
  4. AareneX

    I wish I’d gotten a photo of the bruise I sprouted when Fiddle and I “spun out” in the mud a few weeks ago. I told my co-worker about it, and I loved her response:

    “What state does it look like?”

    Hmmmm. Texas, at first. Later, Florida. With a nice little poke-hole from a stick right about where Tampa should be.

    RE: holiday pix, we’re planning a photo shoot next weekend, if the weather will cooperate!

    Reply
    1. theliteraryhorse Post author

      Yay! I have a soft spot for the Goats Gruff.
      It’s supposed to rain like the dickens here for the next week or two. I hope I can get it together to decorate Hudson. I plan to make him suffer. Glitter will be involved.

      Reply
  5. candy m.

    Ouch! I know how you feel! Many years ago, my mare didn’t want to be caught, so I started to bring in another horse by the gate…she didn’t like that either, spun around & “WHAM” caught me right at the top of my leg! Needless to say, I was black, blue, purple, green, & yellow from my belly button to my knee! No pictures, though!

    Reply
  6. Marissa

    Wow. That is almost identical to the bruise I received the first time I decided I could clean Tucker’s sheath with no drugs. Totally my fault, he kept warning and threatening me (leg lifting, tail swishing, ears pinning) and I kept saying “oh you won’t kick me.” He had finally had enough and nailed me right in the thigh. OUCH! I know first hand how much pain you are in… I could barely walk. Arnica (which is in sore no more!) and applying a warm wash cloth definitely help.

    I participated last year in the holiday horse parade and will try to do so again this year!

    Reply
  7. Sue

    I wish I had a photo from my all-time best hematoma, back in the 70s. My gelding had broken a splint and it calcified; he had an almost entertaining surgery to remove it, as the calcification was extending into his fetlock (Vet explanation: “We scrape it off.” Me: mental image of one of those wire loops with a handle used in various procedures, applied delicately to his ivory cannon bone. Actuality: Stainless steel mallet, stainless steel chisel, WHAM WHAM WHAM!).

    He had reached the point in recovery where he was allowed to walk and jog on the longe line for a brief time each day. BORED. Loathed longeing anyway. Suddenly, a raucous gang of yearlings and 2-yr-olds dashes by in the next pasture, up to no good but lots of fun.

    Usually sedentary gelding cannot STAND this — he pivots and goes bucking across the longe circle — and as he bucks he catches me with both hind feet (and was HORRIFIED when he made contact — FROZE almost in midair, spun and stared at my flattened body in horsey horror).

    Let’s just say that if he’d been trying to actually KICK (as opposed to waving his legs), I might not be writing this. I looked as if I were wearing ultraviolet underwear. I mean, GLOWING black-purple.

    My then-husband threatened to charge admission.

    This too shall pass!

    🙂

    Reply
  8. eventer79

    That is very impressive. I know what you mean — I hate it when you have some grievous pain and there is not even a bruise to show for it. Heinous looking battle wounds are so worth it.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s