The Outside of a Horse…

…is good for the inside of a man.  Yadda yadda. Whatever.

Murphy’s hidden corollary:

The Outside of a Horse is Bad for the Outside of a Woman in La-La Land

I caught a shod rear hoof full-on, luckily on the large muscle mass on the outside of my thigh. It was a full force kick: if it had hit a bone I would have a broken leg.

Here’s something I never thought I’d say: THANK YOU thighs, for having saddle bags I can’t get rid of, no matter how hard I work out.  I ate a piece of cake in to support them in their protective efforts!

Normal barn feeding was late, the boys were cranky and restless. I walked right into the middle of the scuffle, in an enclosure, to get a bucket.  I KNOW better than this.  I saw all the signs, and didn’t put them together (getting over migraine).  Lesson learned: a horse can go without grain when you are unable to think clearly, for whatever reason.

These are two good hearted, well-trained, safe horses.  No one can believe it.

On the flip side, it’s yet another eating accident.  Which seems to be my accident of choice.  How ridiculous is that?  Alice came running with a frozen dinner, having grabbed the first thing out of her freezer.  My first thought?  Ooooooo…Chinese stir fry! Yum.

Sigh.  My relationship with food is hopeless.  My second thought was “thank you!”

Greta was riding, I yelled for help, she galloped up the road, Paul Revere style, to catch Lily, who was leaving. Lily checked my leg (she’s a doc), looked up, and said, “You are so lucky” and “It’s going to hurt really really bad, when your adrenaline drops.”

I learned this from Lily a long time ago: no matter what doctors say about ice on, ice off, pack the dang thing in ice for 24 hours, minimum.  I did 48 hours, with only a few minutes between.  It saved me.  Hematoma the size and shape of a half a basketball sticking out of my thigh Sunday night.  Today: totally flat, spreading out nicely, preeeeeetty colors.

Naturally I had to send Daisy 3 separate photographs, so she could see it from all angles. Please feel free to console her.  I’m disappointed I didn’t think to get Shaun to photograph it when it was still in a perfect horseshoe shape.

My trainer sent me a 1941 reminder video on horsemanship:


16 thoughts on “The Outside of a Horse…

  1. Liz Goldsmith

    Ouch! Freedom kicked me in the thigh when I slipped into the paddock to fix a strap on his fly sheet. I truly don’t think he saw me and I startled him. My daughter and her friend were there so I couldn’t collapse onto the ground and scream in agony, although that was certainly what I wanted to do. My husband tried to forbid me from going to the town pool because the bruising was so ugly. But most people around here already know I’m crazy. Heal quickly!

  2. grey horse matters

    Ouch! Sorry to hear you got kicked but glad that nothing’s broken. We all do stuff like this. Of course, I was kicked years ago by my own horse when he was very young because he was mad he was getting ridden right before dinner time. He was reprimanded and never raised a hoof again. There’s no end to the stupid things I do sometimes, but I’m still here to tell everyone what an idiot I can be sometimes. Feel better.

  3. dressage rider

    I’m so glad that you’re okay but sorry it happened. I’ve had a lot of migraines recently so I understand the whole “in a fog” thing. Functioning but not really, huh?

  4. Halt Near X

    Hey – it could be worse. You could have jumped on a horse bareback and broken a rib!

    (If you want to feel better — I walked up behind a known kicker, in the dark, and called out her name just when I got in kicking range. That’s not just dumb, it’s suicidal. I still don’t know why I’m alive after that.)

    1. Jane

      You totally got me! Yeah getting kicked in a scuffle is not as bad as impaling oneself on the withers of the world’s safest horse.

      I suppose it’s human to wander off into la la land on occasion, but I’m not a big fan of being human at the moment: I’d rather go with being horse.

      Please tell me this is not a trend. It wasn’t all that long ago I broke my ribs, huh.

  5. theliteraryhorse Post author

    Thanks guys, for the sympathy, and not making me feel more like the idiot I was. 😉
    For the record, I got kicked by my own beloved horse. That, strangely, I still adore, and don’t blame at all. Ohhhhh. Love might not be blind…but Horse Love IS blind. Who knew?

    (Put your hands down!)

    1. theliteraryhorse Post author

      I think we all owned that horse at one time or other? I think it’s especially funny the cartoon was made in 1941. Understanding the true nature of horses transcends time and culture!

  6. Marissa

    Ouch! I guess it could have been a lot worse, but I bet that really, really hurts. I hate when I do dumb stuff like that and get myself hurt unnecessarily. We all do it — so frustrating.

    I’m so glad you shared that video though…. I might have to steal it for the Friday Funny on my blog. That part where the horse is rolling around in a fit of laughter with his hooves over his face? I’m pretty sure I’ve seen my horse do that. At me. Often.

    1. theliteraryhorse Post author

      Please steal! It’s good to pass the humor around. 😉

      And I’m sure several horses I’ve know have gone into absolute hysterics, rolling around in laughter, as soon as I’m out of sight.

      (I want to know why we can’t skip the dumb stuff that gets us hurt, there’s enough real stuff of which we have to be wary, let alone wading into a horse scuffle for the object of their affections: the bucket.)

  7. Kate

    Lucky you! Go, saddlebags! I’m with you on the ice – when I got kicked in the jaw I ran for the “medical peas” in the barn freezer. Loose horses acting up is the most unsafe situation I encounter on a regular basis. And the ante’s upped if feeding is involved. I’ve done stuff like that before and regretted it – glad you’re not (too) seriously injured.


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