TCP Here: My Ruined Holiday, and Mom’s Happiness

Hi.

That’s me.  ‘The Christmas Present’.  I’m writing the blog today.  You probably know me as “Christmas” but I hate that name.  I am not a holiday.  All the other dogs call me TC. I’m trying to train my pack of bipeds to do the same thing.

I stayed at this dog sleep-away camp.  It’s HUGE.  There are lots of toys and other dogs and games.  They assign a biped to each ‘play group’ (What’s wrong with the word “pack”?).  We have sprinklers to run through and our own swimming pool.  We get to bring our own beds too.  Nice.  It’s not gender separated.  I got to hang out with two Papillon sisters.  How great is that? And the smells?  KILLER.

I was having a perfectly wonderful holiday, then tall mom came and made me leave.

Tall mom talked out loud to bipeds I couldn’t smell…Brian, Steve, Thelma, Louise, and Harvey Fierstein…? No clue.  She squeezed me to death and dripped water on my head.

Then she sat on my couch and fell asleep.

(BTW, tall mom you need to take a shower.  Seriously.)

I sniffed. Aunt Daisy was here. My nose told me short mom was here now, but she smelled wrong. Like the stuff tall mom uses to clean my private tub. Ew.  Hurt my nose. Short mom was asleep in the pack bed.  I woke up tall mom and led her to the pack bed (took forever…have you noticed bipeds are rather dense?) and politely asked to get up. Once up, I went to find out what happened to short mom.  Whoa.  She’s PURPLE. I think she got into a pack fight.  She has a lot of bite marks.  Yow, that musta hurt.  I licked them all.

I tried to remove all the burrs stuck to her, but that made her yelp, so I quit.

All they want to do is sleep.  Pretty boring, but (yawn) maybe I am a little tired from camp.  Someone has to…protect and serve….ZZzzzzzzzzzz

Advertisements

6 thoughts on “TCP Here: My Ruined Holiday, and Mom’s Happiness

  1. JackieB

    Hey TC,

    So cool you got to go to Doggy Camp. That must have been lots of fun. I get to go to Camp Auntie Celeste and visit with my doggie cousins. I think I’d rather go to your dog camp. My cousin Cricket is a real b1tch especially when the playing gets really fun!

    Being a smart dog I’m sure you’ve heard that those scientist type humans have been studying how well dogs can interpret human non-verbal communication. And we are really good at it! Well, now they those scientists are studying horses! I think the scientists should maybe study horses a bit more, like before they design their tests. But it’s pretty interesting anyway. And dogs are still #1. Woof!

    http://scienceblogs.com/thoughtfulanimal/2010/07/i_am_mister_ed.php

    butt sniffings – Max

    Reply
  2. Marissa

    Dear TC,

    I just wrote a post about sleepaway camp too! Yours sounds like fun. I only have a short mommy, how do I get a tall one too???? If I get another one, do I get double the treats???

    Love,
    Tucker

    Reply
    1. theliteraryhorse Post author

      I don’t know how you get a tall mom I think the existing mom has to pick the mom or dad for you, but man if you can get Aunts and Uncles you will never go treatless again, and they find the BEST stuff. Plus then you get *cousins* to play with.

      Aunt Bella would totally let me roll in the manure pile. How awesome is that?

      Reply
  3. winter

    Hi Christmas, Dyno here. Our bipeds barely notice the water dish being empty. I’m always like “hello, no opposable thumbs here.”

    Shesh.

    I’m a big “smells good basket” fan, but I like to lie in it. Try that next time your bed is being used.

    I hope your short mom is feeling all better soon. I’m with Luna. Lick her, even if she yelps. Sometimes a little yelping is just what they need.

    Reply
  4. AareneX

    Deer Xmas, iz hokey. Bipedz is fragyle. Just licks them, they getz better mostly fast. Tall mum prolly needs most licks, to take away the sadz and stuff. Also: do something dum. Maybee ther sok-on-ther-noze trick? They lykes dat won. Luv frum yur frend LUNA.

    Reply
    1. theliteraryhorse Post author

      hi Luna, I nosed thru the smells-good basket and snuck out the small silky things and tried to get them to play tug of war but they won’t. They made me give them back. I hid one of the long ones (the kind with hooks and grab handles?) outside. I think it will take them a long time to find it. Bipeds don’t have good noses I think or like good smells.

      Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s