Technical Difficulties, Hospitalization, and a Lonely Brain Cell

Meet Brian.

Brian is the one remaining brain cell that is manning the command center.  He’s lonely.

When a brain cell fires in the forest, and no one receives its electrical impulse, did it really fire?

I get to talk like this. I’m still in the same clothes I wore when I left the house on Tuesday.  Today is…Friday.  I can count on one hand the hours of sleep I have had since Tuesday.

Shaun went into San Francisco for a ‘procedure’.  She was supposed to be in, done, out, and two hours later, snoozing in the backseat while I was driving north back over the Golden Gate bridge.

There was a complication.  The minor discomfort not only did not go away, it increased to The Expert yelling give-her-morphine-now level, and Shaun was suddenly desperately ill.

This is where the technical difficulties come in, technically it is difficult to post without a computer, one lonely brain cell, and find humor when one is scared [curse]-less.

She is going to be okay.  She’ll be in the hospital for a week, minimum, according to The Expert.  More like 11 days, he said.  11 days in which she can’t eat or drink liquids. Period. Not even a sip of water.

I’m less scared now, so Brian The-Brain-Cell and I are hanging out, waiting to find sleepy again.  We passed sleepy about a zillion brain cells ago.  Shaun is stable, safe, and attended to by a world-class team.  Kind of like House (the TV show), if House was real, minus the attending sociopath.

There are some moments that will seem absolutely hilarious once this is over, because, well, they are hilarious.

Most of the time, I’m simply awed by the care and kindness of strangers.  “It’s my job”, one nurse said, when I thanked him.  Yeah, it’s his job, but nearly every single person she’s come into contact with cares deeply about her welfare, health and suffering.  They are looking for who is in there, not at a patient.

I won’t be posting for a while, and wanted to let you know why.  If I do post, please forgive me. (That’s a disclaimer!)

To Daisy, Bella, Lily, and Alice, THANK YOU.  You are the best friends EV-er.

One of the humorous moments:

I’d been awake almost 3 days straight, and Daisy was driving me home.  Translation: after a long work day, in the middle of moving into a new house, Daisy was subjected to a looooong drive in which Jane had no working brain cells.  I never shut up, and I have absolutely no idea what I said.  Toward the end, I know I was expounding on theories of what makes street lights change from red to green.

Aside to Daisy: I figured out what makes them change! It’s not timers or pressure sensors in the asphalt.  You need to wear a tinfoil hat with antenna, and the Martians will pick up on your distress and redirect the electrical impulses of the traffic light. Voila.  Green lights all the way.


25 thoughts on “Technical Difficulties, Hospitalization, and a Lonely Brain Cell

  1. eventer79

    That’s a pretty seriously functional brain cell! Glad everyone will be ok, and I feel for you both. Having a shitty week of my own, so I feel your pain and we look forward to your return to relative sanity soon!

  2. Fancy

    Thoughts and prayers are with you both.
    Sometimes when dealing with life’s unexpected curveballs, a shortage of brain cells means no overthinking. This is a state of life I have come to know and love. (my friends call it old age or chemo fog – I insist it is the preservation of what is left of my sanity) As long as Brian and Steve are working enough to be supportive to Shaun, let them rest. You’ll need them to be more active when Shaun gets home!

  3. JackieB

    Hang in there Jane (and your few brain cells)! I hope Shaun gets better very soon. My husband got an organ transplant about 10 years ago. Since then we’ve spent over 3 months at the hospital, if you add up all the days and weeks. Really sorry she can’t eat or drink – my best memory from the longest hospital stay was bringing the DH an Italian feast. He really enjoyed getting good food and we had a sweet, romantic dinner (as romantic as you can get with all the tubes and machines and being in a less than completely private setting. ahem.).

    Get as much rest as you can. I wish Shaun all the best “Nurse Luck” in the world. That’s the luck that gives you excellent nurses every shift. Good nurses are worth their weight in gold. Also hope she is in a top quality hospital.

  4. lizgoldsmith

    I hope Shaun has a speedy recovery and that Brian, Steve and Jane all get some rest so they can stop worrying, at least for a little while.

    1. Halt Near X

      Shell Silverstein wants to know, too:


      When the light is green you go.
      When the light is red you stop.
      But what do you do
      When the light turns blue
      With orange and lavender spots?

      1. funder

        HNX, I can’t believe you of all people would misspell it. His name’s Shel! (I read my SS book nonstop when I was a kid.)

        Remember the one about the Wild Strawberries? We should quote SS at Jane until she smiles a lot.

  5. grey horse matters

    Hope Shaun recovers quickly and is home before you know it. Traffic lights turn all different colors because they are show-offs and because they can. Go put your brain cell to bed and sleep for a while. Sending you good thoughts.

  6. Marissa

    Oh my gosh, it never rains it pours! I’m so sorry you’ve hit a rough patch but I’m sure Brian and Steve will make friends soon. I’ll bet by now they’ve at least figured out how to order a keg and a pizza get some of the chicks from down the hall to stop by. I think you need some female brain cells. Thelma and Louise maybe?

  7. Halt Near X

    Since you are going to get to this question soon, let me help you out:

    There is no such thing as light. There are only dark suckers.

    (I’m not helping, am I? Sorry…. best wishes for continued improvement!)

    1. theliteraryhorse Post author

      Totally helping. I laughed myself silly. How could I have been so misinformed?? (That’s a hint: go guys, and laugh yourselves silly!) Site is now bookmarked.

      I uh, caught up on some blog reading last night. If you find a comment from, uh, “me” in your comment filter, which I dearly hope you have, I hope Brian and Steve did a passable job of sounding….sane. Please feel free to delete, hold, send me an SOS (did you REALLY write that??). Delete is our friend.

      I promise to duct tape my fingers together before anymore blog reading.

  8. dressage rider

    You’re scaring the crap out of me! Why do our lives seem to parallel each other lately?

    I’ve also experienced technical difficulties thanks to Comcast and their national email outage! In the meantime, my niece came back for consultations and ended up admitted to the hospital for dehydration and a UTI. Today’s day 6 and there’s no end in sight.

    Wishing all of you the best and a Shaun a speedy recovery.

  9. AareneX

    Dear Brian and Steve: have a party, serve really good little sandwiches without crusts, (gotz cukumberz?) and a nice local microbrew, and TRY to attract a few friends. Just a thought.

    1. theliteraryhorse Post author

      Since most people are not gay, I’m assuming Brian and Steve want to attract the babes that might exist in Brain Cell World. Go for it B and S: throw a party. My only request is you wait until I’m actually IN SF again, not driving TO SF during the festivities.

      Hmm…B and S, B and S…why does that sound familiar? 😉

  10. Kerry

    I haven’t been keeping up with what’s going on but this caught my eye. A couple of years ago I went through breast cancer, and in the past 4 years my husband has had a emergency (is there any other kind) appendectamy as well as triple bypass heart surgery (not quite as emergency). For two people who have spent thier lives away from the medical field (meaning we never went to doctors) I must say we are IMPRESSED with those working in the medical field. The nurses, technitions, lab people, assistents, flabotimists…..and so on. Most of them seem to truley care. Only the doctors are, well, distant to be nice about it. Best of luck to ya’ll.

  11. Winter

    You do better with one brain cell than most do with half a dozen.

    (BTW, they turn green because they’re bored)

    Damn I hate those “oh this will be nothing… ahhhhhhhhhhh!” medical experiences.

    Been in that scary place, glad the worst is over. We’ll be thinking of you both and will forgive any entries that may randomly appear.


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