Choosing a Workout

Today we are going to compare two workout photos, and see which one you think will make the better rider

Bella working out:

Jane working out:

Note that my workout includes frosting, and Bella’s workout includes superhuman strength.

Now we know why Jane finds the roping saddle so heavy.  That I had to have an organizational plan to saddle Hudson, startled Bella.  She said. “But that’s my light saddle!”  Let’s put it this way. I won’t be roping 500 lbs of steer any time soon.

I am publicly committing to working out and getting back in real riding shape.  (I’m also committing to hiding the camera when I’m having a bad hair day, and wearing one of Shaun’s old T-shirts.)

I googled my gym (so I could find it again) and re-introduced myself to the doors.  They were quite friendly.  So was the staff.  The treadmill, however, was miffed: you never call, you never write, and I’m supposed to take you back, just like that?  I don’t THINK so, sister. It complained under its breath until I hit the 2 mile mark, whereupon it grudgingly admitted I might be serious….IF I came back tomorrow.

The nautilus machines wouldn’t even glance my way.  Fine.  Two can play that game.

The weight room?  I couldn’t get past the bouncer.  I had to live through all the pitying glances of the regulars as they pushed past.   Shoot.  There’s not even a disco ball in there.  It thinks it’s such a high and mighty exclusive little club. The bouncer said: “when the machines will vouch for you, I’ll let you in.”

I slunk home to work out in the living room with my Pilates DVD.  It’s fairly non-judgmental. It grumbled a little when I switched over to the “modified” version (shows old women doing Pilates).  It’s not big on hand holding.

You’d think the world would cut me a little slack on the day I go back to working out.  The gym I understand.  I have to win its trust back.  The Pilates?  Come on, it went from fit  young women (Regular workout) to silver-haired old ladies struggling to sit up straight (modified workout).  That is supposed to inspire me?  I already look like that!

Fine.  All done.  I limp out to the mailbox and there’s a lovely letter, just for me, from a company that cares about my welfare and wants to protect my loved ones: I should buy my coffin now, along with burial insurance.

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16 thoughts on “Choosing a Workout

  1. lizgoldsmith

    So, I’m not the only one wondering if my horse will notice the extra layer of “warmth” that I’m carrying?

    You would NEVER see me lifting weights like Bella. That looks dangerous. The spotter is not in a position that would allow him to catch the barbell if she dropped it and if it were me trying to lift those, dropping would be a certainty.

    I’ve had to put myself back into boot camp (masters swim team) because I am absolutely unable to make myself exercise without a Russian coach standing by the edge of the pool with a stop watch and several people in my lane who would never stop laughing at me if I didn’t finish the workout AND make the interval. I’ve already had to deal with the indignity of dropping down TWO lanes in the swim team hierarchy of speed and I think that my team mates are only pretending to express sympathy when I say I had to take 5 months off because of a shoulder injury.

    The problem is that all this exercise is cutting into my work time. Okay, maybe not the exercising but rather the extended nap that is required when I get back from swimming. At least it’s not cutting into my riding time because the ground is hard as a rock, slippery as hell, and it’s too cold to ride.

    Reply
    1. theliteraryhorse Post author

      That’s the problem with exercise. It cuts into everything else time. Like eating, sleeping, and reading.

      Master’s swim is HUGE. I used to swim a mile a day, 5x a week, and looked into the Master’s swim workout. I tried it, in the snail lane, and no way could I keep up with those incredibly fit swimmers.

      In regular lap swim, I was usually in the 3rd lane. Stick me in Masters, and I was in pre-school.

      Bravo Liz!

      Reply
  2. Marissa

    Oh my gosh… the weights are so big they block Bella’s entire head! I am totally impressed, please tell Bella. I’m also completely impressed with your cookies! I’ve been known to give gingerbread men lederhosen myself. Cookies are so fun. (I, however, enjoy eating them just as much as decorating them). Good luck with the workouts! (I only run if I’m late for a train. Firm rule.)

    Reply
    1. theliteraryhorse Post author

      Due to bum leg, I can’t run, so my cardio comes from power walking. Preferably *towards* the gym.

      Bella and I were talking about Hudson (and this post), and it came up that she hit a new personal record: 203 lbs on the squat and 105 lbs on the bench press.

      Awe. Sheer awe. Go Bella!!

      When I go to the gym today (oh I’m going all right.) I’m going to live dangerously, and bypass the 3 lb hand weights, and go right to the 5 lb. 🙂

      Reply
  3. AareneX

    I agree with Michelle. Jane’s blog is the spot to visit for a full-body workout.

    After all that exercise, it’s good to re-energize the body. A few of those frosted cookies should do the job nicely.

    Reply
  4. Arlene

    Okay, you’ve got me laughing, now if you could get me to a gym…I think I’ll start at home where everyone is a little less judgmental. This extra flab has got to come off one way or the other, are you sure you can’t get in shape by icing cookies that looks a lot less painful.

    Reply
    1. theliteraryhorse Post author

      I can guarantee weight loss if you frost cookies using the Jane Patent-Pending OCD Cookie Making Method. It takes 3 days to decorate 1 batch of cookies. If we work at top speed.

      Y’all grab your (sterilized) tweezers, a bag of piping, and sugar in any form, and you’ll work up a sweat in no time, trying to get the cookie *just right*. I’ve spent 20 minutes making one 1.5″ bee. That’s right, move over Martha.

      Shockingly, I have no desire to eat them. Though it is disturbingly difficult to toss the unused frosting.

      The stress is enough to make you drop 5 lbs in 3 days…

      Reply
  5. Michelle at FromTheHorsesBack.com

    Oh my gosh. I have to tell you, Jane – in my darkest hour of despair, when I just can’t get off my rear and have just consumed 3 lbs of chocolate (ok, maybe 2.5) I can convince myself that a visit to your site will count as my daily workout. After all, you get the abs (from excessive laughter), the cardio (from running to get a towel to mop up coffee spilled as a result of said laughter) and the legs (power squats while cleaning up coffee). I’m all covered. Thanks.

    Reply
    1. theliteraryhorse Post author

      Michelle this sounds exactly like what happens on MY side of the computer screen.

      My darkest hour of despair comes after days spent writing complete dreck, then getting the giggles over how bad some of the stuff is you (hopefully) don’t get to see (It was a dark and stormy night, AGAIN).

      I spew coffee, and do the whole paper towel power squat thing. Hmm. Maybe we are working out?

      Reply
  6. theliteraryhorse Post author

    I may have hit the wrong note here. We don’t want guilt or “not helping, Jane”.

    No more pictures of food while talking about working out. That should help.

    So what inspires everyone to work out? The photo of Bella lifting that did it for me…what inspires you? Maybe if enough people chime in, we’ll encourage each other!

    Reply
  7. enlightenedhorsemanship

    OK so I won’t tell you about the hour and a half hike I just did with Rubydog through the bouganvillea in the warm winter sun.
    Oh, I just did.
    Sorry!
    The gyms and trails here are filled with those ladies in the modified version of your pilates video. Sometimes I take (misplaced) pride in passing them while hiking, only to be humiliated in about a half hour as they briskly overtake us after I’ve run out of gas. They’re just getting started.
    Remember the tortoise and the hare.
    You’re just having a bad hare day.

    Reply
    1. theliteraryhorse Post author

      No no! It’s GOOD if we talk about the working out we’re doing.

      I asked Bella if I could put up that photo (along with one of me frosting something…the dog, the couch, oh…cookies!) because she *inspired* me.

      I saw that photo (on her trainer’s site) and thought, whoa that takes courage and fortitude. You don’t just walk in and lift that, you work for it. Hard.

      I know she’ll cheer me on too. 🙂

      Reply
  8. Winter

    ROFL!

    I’ll help with the icing. I can’t get motivated to work out and this post so did not help.

    I can’t lift anything but a synthetic saddle either. Hmmm. Okay, okay. Perhaps it IS time.

    Reply
  9. dressage rider

    You win!

    I’m feeling major guilt about my own lack of motivation, especially after taking my dogs to the vet. Let’s just say…we’re carrying a little winter weight.

    Reply

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