Now starting the Jane Emergency broadcasting System.
Emergency Message #1: I-Can’t-Ride
Duck and cover.
Whine: but I don’t WANT to do sit ups! I don’t FEEL like doing Pilates.
(What I want to do is eat, preferably followed by lolling with a book.)
I rode Pops last night, after being off him for a month. His owner had the time to ride. Lucky me, she’s timeless again. Big horse, big movement. If you are not in excellent shape in the abdominal department, it’s difficult to stay with the movement. Pops requires a six-pack to pick up the trot. What did Pops get? Jello. He flicked his ears at me in surprise. You?
Sniffle sniffle. Apparently, while the other horses I ride do require fitness, they do not require Fitness. My solution was to, um, sort of skip the trot once he warmed up. He has that off-the-track canter: effortless, rhythmic, happy to give me a couple of furlongs. It still requires great abs (which were not present) but balance goes a long way to compensate.
There was a trainer in the arena. Working a horse. Watching. Very obviously refraining from commenting. (Not my trainer.)
When it was all over, and we were both in the barn aisle taking care of our horses, she tried very hard to come up with something positive to say. I’m sure the image was burned into her retinas.
“It’s so great that you come out here and take care of all these horses”, she said, very kindly.
Ahhhhhh…sniffle, sniffle, wail, sob, rend.
I smiled back, grateful for her kindness: “Yeah I really sucked tonight, huh. That was a nice thing to say, thanks. I didn’t know I was that out of shape.”
We both laughed.
I thought I’d save the wailing for you guys.
I CAN’T RIDE………sob, I totally SUCKED! In FRONT of someone who CAN ride! And I hate working out! And I have to! And I feel like stomping my foot like a five-year old!
~end emergency broadcast~