Dog Day Afternoon

Jane hit the dirt yesterday.  Whump.   All because of a dog.  Surprisingly, it hurt much worse than the last time I got tossed.  Tamara  at Barb Wire  recently had a horrible scary fall caused by a dog with an irresponsible owner.  (Hers was much worse and definitely NOT funny).  If you read across horse blogs, you see a pattern that some of the worst trail/hacking falls are caused by dogs.

This is one reason why, when I take Christmas to the barn, I wear him out physically before we go, and he gets set up in his doggy playpen.  I don’t want him to get hurt, but I also don’t want him to suddenly take out after the  six year old whose horse just spooked.  A bolting horse would be a predator magnet  for even his little dog brain.

I  had my dog-caused fall in breeches, tall boots and riding gear.  But no helmet. JANE wasn’t wearing a helmet?!? I knew she was a hypocrite.  Thank god she had no head trauma.  Why was Jane not wearing her helmet?    Oh she is so going to pay for her smug,  self-satisfied lecture on helmets now.

(The problem  with writing about yourself in the third person: you can get carried away and say mean things before you realize you’re, uh, saying mean things to yourself.)

I am constitutionally incapable of doing anything normally.  I was not wearing a helmet because my dog-caused hit-the-dirt fall didn’t include a horse.  Anywhere.

I took Christmas to the city dog park to run off his marathonic, non-Lhasa, more-like-fox-terrier energy with critters roughly his own size, before we went to the barn.

I totally did not see it coming.  If I had seen the two pitbulls come in,  we would have left.  Big dogs are one thing.  Tank dogs are another.  A sweet, friendly, tank mowing you down is still a tank mowing you down.

I turned to see who Christmas was racing to greet now, (oh no, pitbulls!) and one of them chased after Christmas playfully.  But a tank is a tank.  Christmas realized he was in over his head, made a beeline towards mom, and stopped behind her, still wagging his tail.

Slam went the 80 lb pitbull sideways into my bad leg, at what felt like 40 mph.  A loud crack was heard, and I hit the dirt BIG time.  I couldn’t believe how much it felt like getting dumped by a horse.  I kept looking for proof: riding clothes…check.  Boots…check. Shirt and zip vest….check.   Pain…double check.  Horse….?  There must be one here somewhere.  How can you have a riding fall without the horse?

I have to say, tall boots do cross over well into off-label dog park use.   When Charlie-the-pitbull broadsided me, he snapped defensively at my leg, believeing that I had slammed into HIM.  I love my tall boots.  No broken skin.  And Mountain Horse tall boots?  Not a scratch.  These boots are TOUGH.  I could wade through a sea of pitbulls in them and feel safe.

The pit’s owner said, as he trotted by after his dogs (while I was still laying in the dirt), “Hey…my dog likes you!”

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10 thoughts on “Dog Day Afternoon

  1. dressage rider

    Some dogs are the size of a small pony. I’m sure you could wear your helmet and claim you were looking for a pony ride.

    Glad to hear you survived. My dogs slammed into my knee a while back. I feel your pain.

    Reply
    1. theliteraryhorse Post author

      Smart! This would help me in a few ways…I’d be head protected, and no one would come near me.
      I’m liking this…I feel obligated to nod my head at some of the (one-sided) conversations…Gah.

      OW to the knee. You okay? Forget the H1N1 stuff, it sounds like dog slamming is epidemic out there.

      Reply
    1. theliteraryhorse Post author

      Thanks Tamara, my leg is good. The loud crack was apparently my back going out, but that’s easy to remedy and doesn’t really hurt. Nothing like the level of what you’re dealing with. Can you walk??

      Just thinking about your dog incident makes me want to march right over to the owners home with a leash. (Well more actually, but unprintable.)

      Reply
  2. Andrew

    ‘The horseless horse-fall’ AND ‘helmet casual’… love it… in a humorous, literary kind of way, of course. Sorry about the actual fall.

    Andrew

    Reply
    1. theliteraryhorse Post author

      Thanks. I like your take (*humorous. literary kind of way*) better than mine, which is: it’s funny in a kind of idiotic, stupid, why-weren’t-you-paying-more-attention sort of way.
      I’m going with yours!

      Reply
  3. lizgoldsmith

    Oh, Jane, too funny! The horseless fall! Glad you weren’t hurt as being broadsided by a heavy dog is not fun. I would say that the helmet look goes well with tall boots and breeches, even at the dog park. Or maybe especially at the dog park. I, myself, have eschewed wearing breeches in non-horsey public places since turning 40 so the helmet would look just too wierd.

    Reply
    1. theliteraryhorse Post author

      My friends are shaking their heads. Only I could accomplish the horseless horse fall. 😉

      Maybe we can get the manufacturers to create helmets that look like baseball caps…?

      Reply
  4. greyhorsematters

    Sorry to hear about your fall. Glad you didn’t get hurt. Our horse Blue wasn’t exactly spooked today going past the pond and no one came off, but believe it or not the geese were hissing at him. It could have been ugly but he’s a pretty steady guy.
    p.s. we always wear our helmets, just in case.

    Reply
    1. theliteraryhorse Post author

      I’m wondering if I can get away with a “helmet casual” look at the dog park…like I wandered in out of the barn? Might be safer. Come to think of it, might be a good idea in the grocery store as well…

      Thank goodness Blue is steady and you were all right!

      Reply

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