This post brought to you courtesy of kidding around with Wendy at Wendy’s Horse Adventures. (She has a brilliant concept: a RideOMeter; scan your horse, get a printout of what to expect before you mount.) Joking around jostled my short term memory. I’d forgotten I wanted to tell y’all about Sunday.
The family went to the mall, and of course we all had to troop over to Brookstone and stick our feet in their amazing foot massagers. Ahhhh.
Unfortunately for our budget, I wandered around, and I found my new horse. Right there, IN THE MALL. No kidding. Talk about sacked out. For the low, low price of $500, this horse can be YOURS. As long as you have an electrical outlet and control of your children.
I had to try it. We already know I have no dignity to lose, so why not? The one I tried didn’t have the stirrups attached, which given the placement and rigidity, is just as well.
I eschewed the bucking strap (!) pushed the On button, and immediately started giggling like a ten year old. (I don’t think this was the creator’s intent.) It was roughly the equivalent of riding a hyper, short-strided Shetland pony that occasionally dropped a shoulder. I went gently up and down, and shifted slightly to the right or left in the same pattern, over and over. A Shetland with no imagination. Nothing like the real thing.
High speed was enough to make me laugh uncontrollably for days: a frantic and mad Shetland pony.
I WANT IT. Not just for the laughter/endorphin potential, but because it actually does work those core muscles for you, if you stay centered in your seat while the itty bitty pony careens around. No Pilate’s! TV and snacks! That is so worth $500. I doubt seriously it would make anyone a better rider, but it could potentially help you achieve the abs and some balance practice needed to become a better rider.
I’m going to start working on Shaun for an Anniversary/Christmas/Birthday/Valentines day combo present potential.
There is a real horse simulator out there, complete with video screen, which I also want, but like the waiters that hand you menus with no prices, none are listed on the site: it’s easy to assume it could financially replace a Grand Prix horse.
Personally, I would save the shadbelly and top hat for the, um, actual show ring.