Mirror, Mirror, on the Wall……does this horse make my butt look small…?

Our relative sizes fuels my denial, so I can continue to use frosting for comfort. Who wouldn’t look small next to that engine? I’m not sure if I am sabotaging my desire to fatten up, or sabotaging my desire to slim down: I’m hitting the gym, as well as the frosting.
Now, we will bore you with a simile or an allegory. I can’t remember which is which:
A number of years ago, Shaun wandered out into our verdant backyard with a glass of iced tea, where she found me kneeling next to a flower border, trowel in hand, smeared with dirt, and laughing like a lunatic.
For most people, this would be a signal it’s time to hear their mother calling. But Shaun is braver than most people.
“Do I want to know why you’re laughing?”, she says, sipping her tea.
“Yup”, I say, trying to contain giggles, absolutely convinced I’m SO FUNNY.
Shaun makes a rolling motion with her hand: continue.
“I just planted Ajuga next to Lambs Ears, in front of the Japanese anemones!!” I double over in a new fit of laughter.
Shaun considers this. ”And this is funny, because…?”